Too funny movie quotes

Fame

2010-09-05T04:42:00.000-07:00

Mr. Cranston: Mr. Tavares, you play with elan, brio, gusto, panache and a host of foreign adjectives that indicate excessive style. What you neglect to do is play the music as written. And though your interpretation may be entertaining, it is of no value in my class. May I suggest that the only thing of value you could possibly bring to Bach is your respect. And unless you devote yourself to study, drill and mastery of technique, you will be of little or no value to anyone. Including yourself. Now let's try this again, as written. Parenthetically, study, drill and technique do not stifle talent. They free it. Once more.

Mr. Tavares: Mr. Cranston. This music, it's boring. It's just not my thing.

Mr. Cranston: No, it's Bach's thing. Stubby little German guy. Wore a wig.

Mr. Tavares: Yeah, and he died 1,000 years ago. His teachers told him to stop playing music his Way. He said no.

Mr. Cranston: Really? Well, if his teachers told him that, then they were wrong. And should your music survive for the next 350 years, please allow me to apologize in advance. Proceed. We will suffer through it with you.

Ocean's Eleven

2010-07-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

Rusty: Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game!

Danny Ocean: How's your wife?
Bruiser: Pregnant again.
Danny Ocean: Well, that happens.

Rusty: Barry, your turn.
Barry Watson: Uh... four.
Rusty: You don't want four. You want to fold.
Barry Watson: I do? Is that a good thing?

Cop: That's all you used in the event, nothin' else?
Basher: Hang on, are you accusing me of boobytrapping?
Cop: Well, how about it?
Rusty: Booby traps aren't Mr. Torres style, isn't that right, "Basher"? Peck, ATF. Let me venture a guess, simple g form mainliner, backwound, quick fuse with a drag under 20 feet? Yea... let me ask you somethin else did you search this scumbag for booby traps, on his person? I mean really search, not just for weapons?
Rusty: Stand back.
Basher: Oy. here we go
Rusty: Go find Griggs, tell him I need to see him.
Cop: Who?
Rusty: Just find him, will ya?

Avatar

2009-12-25T03:09:00.000-08:00

Jake Sully: They've sent us a message... that they can take whatever they want. Well we will send them a message. That this... this is our land!

Dr. Grace Augustine: Just relax and let your mind go blank. That shouldn't be too hard for you.

The Big Bang Theory S2E08

2009-12-14T16:32:00.000-08:00

Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

Rajnesh Koothrappali: I'll tell you what. How about we go rock-paper-scissors?
Sheldon Cooper: Ooh, I don't think so. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.
Rajnesh Koothrappali: What?
Sheldon Cooper: It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
(c) The Big Bang Theory Lizard-Spock Episode

Office S5E17

2009-04-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Dwight: Knock, knock.
Michael: Who’s there?
Dwight: The KGB.
Michael: The KGB?
[Dwight slaps Michael]
Dwight: We will ask the questions!

Jim: Ding-dong!
Michael: Who is there?
Jim: KGB.
Michael: Dwight answer!
Dwight: No way it’s the KGB.
Michael: Yes, you going to…
Dwight: You answer…
Jim: Ding-dong, ding-dong…
Dwight: I will not gonna answer…
[Jim slaps Dwight]
Jim: The KGB will wait for no one.
Dwight: It’s true.

Funny Love Quotes

2009-03-23T05:34:00.000-07:00

Here some sweet and
funny love quotes from some of my favorite romantic movies and few movie actors.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight... maybe I should have taken a second look.
~ Crimes and Misdemeanors

That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else
~Sixteen Candles

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
~Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
~Woody Allen

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

Dont say we aren't right for each other, the way i see it is.. we aren't right for anyone else
~The cutting edge

"Is it possible to be in love with someone and not even like them?"
~ American Sweethearts

Oscar Wilde, Kahlil Gibran and many famous personalities had give us many love quotes, but nothing beats the romantic movies from Hollywood.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

2009-03-13T02:03:00.000-07:00

Customer: Hi, can I have a coffee? Black?
Delaney: Can't you see we talking, White?

House M.D. Series Quotes, Season 1

2008-06-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

Dr. Robert Chase: It's a tumor.
Dr. Gregory House: And the big green thing in the middle of the bigger blue thing is an island.

Dr. Gregory House: Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House, you can call me Greg. I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. Gregory House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will.
Dr. Gregory House: That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this. This is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?
Dr. Gregory House: And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys?
Dr. Gregory House: Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change your mind.

Dr. Gregory House: No fever, glands normal. Missing her vaccination dates.
Mother: We're not vaccinating.
Dr. Gregory House: Think they don't work?
Mother: I think some multinational pharmaceutical company wants me to think they work. Pad their bottom line.
Dr. Gregory House: Mmmm. May I?
Mother: Sure.
Dr. Gregory House: Gribbit, gribbit, gribbit.
Dr. Gregory House: All natural, no dyes. That's a good business - all-natural children's toys. Those toy companies, they don't arbitrarily mark up their frogs. They don't lie about how much they spend in research and development. The worst a toy company can be accused of is making a really boring frog. Gribbit, gribbit, gribbit. You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die then cough up 40 bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop *really* fast. Gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit.
Mother: Tell me what she has.
Dr. Gregory House: A cold.

300 Movie Quotes

2008-06-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

Messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king.
Leonidas: Earth and water?
Messenger: Madman! You're a madman!
Leonidas: Earth and water? You'll find plenty of both down there.
Messenger: No man, Persian or Greek, no man threatens a messenger!
Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
Leonidas: Madness? This is Sparta!

Persian: A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Stelios: Then we will fight in the shade.

Gorgo: Spartan!
Leonidas: Yes, my lady?
Gorgo: Come back with your shield or on it.
Leonidas: Yes, my lady.

Captain: They look thirsty!
King Leonidas: Well, let's give them something to drink! To the cliffs!

Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!

Reservoir Dogs (1992), Director: Quentin Tarantino, Movie Quotes

2007-09-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Mr. Brown: Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It's a metaphor for big dicks.
Mr. Blonde: No, no. It's about a girl who is very vulnerable. She's been fucked over a few times. Then she meets some guy who's really sensitive...
Mr. Brown: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Time out Greenbay. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists.
Joe: Toby... Who the fuck is Toby? Toby...
Mr. Brown: 'Like a Virgin' is not about this nice girl who meets a nice fella. That's what "True Blue" is about, now, granted, no argument about that.
Mr. Orange: Which one is 'True Blue'?
Nice Guy Eddie: 'True Blue' was a big ass hit for Madonna. I don't even follow this Tops In Pops shit, and I've at least heard of "True Blue".
Mr. Orange: Look, asshole, I didn't say I ain't heard of it. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan.
Mr. Orange: Personally, I can do without her.
Mr. Pink: I like her early stuff. You know, 'Lucky Star', 'Borderline' - but once she got into her 'Papa Don't Preach' phase, I don't know, I tuned out.
Mr. Brown: Hey, you guys are making me lose my... train of thought here. I was saying something, what was it?
Joe: Oh, Toby was this Chinese girl, what was her last name?
Mr. White: What's that?
Joe: I found this old address book in a jacket I ain't worn in a coon's age. What was that name?
Mr. Brown: What the fuck was I talking about?
Mr. Pink: You said 'True Blue' was about a nice girl, a sensitive girl who meets a nice guy, and that 'Like a Virgin' was a metaphor for big dicks.
Mr. Brown: Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.
Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the 'Great Escape', he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain.
Joe: Chew? Toby Chew?
Mr. Brown: It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, 'Like a Virgin'.
Joe: Wong?

Mr. Brown: Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown", that's little too close to "Mr. Shit".

Joe: Hey, who didn't throw in?
Mr. Orange: Mr. Pink.
Joe: Mr. Pink? Why not?
Mr. Orange: He don't tip.
Joe: He don't tip? Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
Mr. Orange: He don't believe in it.
Joe: Shut up!

Mr. Pink: Was that a fucking set up or what?
Mr. Pink: Shit! Orange got tagged?
Mr. White: Gut shot.
Mr. Pink: Fuck! Where's, uh, Brown?
Mr. White: Dead.
Mr. Pink: How'd he die?
Mr. White: How the fuck do you think? The cops shot him.
Mr. Pink: This is bad. This is so fucking bad. Is it bad?
Mr. White: As opposed to good?
Mr. Pink: Man, this is fucked up. This is so fucked up. Somebody fucked us up big time, man.
Mr. White: You really think we were set up?
Mr. Pink: Do you even doubt it, man? I don't THINK we got set up, I KNOW we got set up! I mean, really, seriously, where did all those cops come from, huh? One minute they're not there, the next minute they're there? I didn't hear any sirens. The alarm went off, okay. Okay, when an alarm goes off, you got an average of four minutes response time. Unless a patrol car is cruising that street, at that particular moment, you got four minutes before they can realistically respond. In one minute there were seventeen blue boys out there. All loaded for bear, all knowing exactly what the fuck they were doing, and they were all just there! Remember that second wave that showed up in the cars? Those were the ones responding to the alarm, but those first motherfuckers were already there, they were waiting for us. Haven't you fucking thought about this?

Mr. White: Well, he knows a little about me.
Mr. Pink: You didn't tell him your name, did you?
Mr. White: I told him my first name, and where I'm from.
Mr. Pink: Why?
Mr. White: I told him where I was from a few days ago. It was just a casual conversation.
Mr. Pink: And what was tellin' him your name when you weren't supposed to?
Mr. White: He asked.
Mr. White: We had just gotten away from the cops. He just got shot. It was my fuckin' fault he got shot. He's a fuckin' bloody mess - he's screaming. I swear to god, I thought he was gonna die right then and there. I'm tryin' to comfort him, tellin' him not to worry, he's gonna be okay, I'm gonna take care of him. And he asked me what my name was. I mean, the man was dyin' in my arms. What the fuck was I supposed to tell him? "Sorry, I can't give out that information! It's against the rules! I don't trust you enough!"

Wild Hogs :: Movie Quotes

2007-08-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids! How long ago was that?

Jack: You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000, plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar. If you don't, we're gonna break your friend's legs here.
Dudley Frank: Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack: Fine, we'll break his hands!
Dudley Frank: Oh, dammit. Bring the money!

Spider-Man 3 :: Movie Quotes

2007-08-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

Gwen Stacy: I mean who gets kissed by Spider-Man, right?
Mary Jane Watson: I can't imagine.

Peter Parker: Oh, Mr. Ditkovitch!
Mr. Ditkovitch: An orange?
Peter Parker: No thanks. Look, I'm really sorry for what happened earlier. I shouldn't have yelled about that door, it was nothing to be angry about.
Mr. Ditkovitch: Eh, it's no big deal. If you feel that bad about it, you can buy me pizza some time - today's good!
Peter Parker: ...Okay.
Mr. Ditkovitch: Problem with the phone?
Peter Parker: No, it's just... I was trying to figure out what to say.
Mr. Ditkovitch: If it's a woman you're calling, you say - "You're good woman, I'm good man!"
Mr. Ditkovitch: Hmm?
Ursula: Hi Pete!
Peter Parker: Oh hi!
Mr. Ditkovitch: He's calling a woman.
Ursula: Are you calling Mary Jane? I think that would be so...
Mr. Ditkovitch: It's none of your business! Go! Go!
Mr. Ditkovitch: Call!

Maitre d': Name, please?
Peter Parker: Parker, Peter
Maitre d': Ahh, there we are... table for two, Pecker...
Peter Parker: Parker...
Maitre d': That is what I said, Pecker!

Flint Marko: I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I just want you to understand.

Jonah Jameson: Parker? Parker? Where are you?
Jonah Jameson: Hey kid you wanna job?
Little Girl: Why would I wanna job? I'm just a kid.
Jonah Jameson: How much for the camera?
Little Girl: A hundred bucks.
Jonah Jameson: A hundred bucks?
Jonah Jameson: OK.
Jonah Jameson tries to shoot, but the camera's empty
Little Girl: Film's extra!

Peter Parker: Stings doesn't it?
Harry Osborn: I protected you in high school, but now I'm gonna kick your little ass!
Peter Parker: Oooh!

Crowd: Kiss him! Kiss him!
Peter Parker: Go ahead, lay one on me!
Gwen Stacy: Really?
Peter Parker: Yeah! They'll love it!
Child: Don't do it, Spidey!
Child: Ewwww...

Harry Osborn: You gonna' kill me like you killed me father?
Peter Parker: I'm done trying to convince you.
Harry Osborn: You took him from me. He loved me.
Peter Parker: No, he despised you. You were an embarrassment to him.
Peter Parker: Oh, look at little Goblin junior... 'Gonna cry?

Evan Almighty :: Movie Quotes

2007-08-07T06:08:00.000-07:00

Joan Baxter: You want to build a boat?
Evan Baxter: It might be something fun for the family. Go sailing on the lake. I don't know.
Evan Baxter: Be great in case it floods or something...

Joan Baxter: Maybe God meant a flood of awareness.
Evan Baxter: If that's true, I'm going to be so pissed.

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

God: How do we change the world?
Evan Baxter: One single act of random kindness at a time.
God: One Act, of, Random, Kindness.

Live Free or Die Hard 4.0 :: Movie Quotes

2007-08-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

The Warlock: Why did you bring a cop to my command center?
John McClane: (laughs) It's a basement!

Thomas Gabriel: I can't talk to him, you talk to him. Help him focus.
Lucy McClane: Daddy?
John McClane: Lucy baby?
Lucy McClane: Now there are only five of them.

Broadcast:
My fellow Americans it is time to strike fear into the citizenry ask not what your country can do to avert this crisis. The answer is nothing what so ever. Our military strength is in useless. Read my lips. The great confident ruler of the American progress and growth has come to an end. All the vital technology that, that this nation possesses. All communication transportation, connectivity, electrical power, critical utilities, their fate now rests in hands. We will not tire, we will not falter and we won't fail.
Thank you and a Happy Independence Day for everyone!

Matt Farrell: Did you see that?
John McClane: Yes, I did it!

Die Hard 4.0, Live free or Die Hard (Bruce Willis)

Leon :: Movie Quotes

2007-08-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

Morizio (by phone): Make sure he understands. Then let him go.
Leon: Do you understand?
(Fatman shakes his head, yes)
Leon: So say it.
Fatman: I understand.
Leon: Good.

Leon: And stop saying "okay" all the time. Okay?
Mathilda: Okay.
Leon: Good.

Leon: Revenge is not good. Once you're done. Believe me. It's better to forget!

Leon: The rifle is the first weapon you learn how to use, because it lets you keep your distance from the client. The closer you get to being a pro, the closer you can get to the client. The knife, for example, is the last thing you learn.

Pulp Fiction :: Movie Quotes

2007-08-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

The Wolf: You guys look like... What do they look like, Jimmie?
Jimmie: Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.
Jules: Ha-ha-ha. They're your clothes, motherfucker.

Butch: I'll be back before you can say Blueberry pie.
Fabienne: Blueberry pie.
Butch: OK, maybe not that fast...

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It's a chopper, baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It's Zed's.
Fabienne: Who's Zed?
Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Butch: Where's my watch?
Fabienne: It's there.
Butch: No it's not.
Fabienne: Have you looked ?
Butch: Yes, I've fuckin' looked. What the fuck do you think I'm doin'? You sure you got it ?
Fabienne: Yes. Bedside table drawer.
Butch: On the little kangaroo ?
Fabienne: Yes, it was on the little kangaroo.
Butch: Yeah, well, it's not here now.
Fabienne: Well, it should be.
Butch: Yes it most definitely should be but it's not here now, so where the fuck is it? Fabienne, where's my father's fucking watch ? Do you have any idea what he had to go through to get me that watch ? I don't have time to go into it, but he went through a lot. All this other shit you could've set on fire, but I specifically reminded you not to forget the fucking watch.
Butch: Now think. Did you get it ?
Fabienne: I believe so.
Butch: You believe so? You believe so? What the fuck does that mean? You either did, or you didn't!
Fabienne: Then I did.
Butch: Are you sure?
(Fabienne shakes her head, no)
Butch: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker! Motherfuckin'! Do you fucking know how fucking stupid you are? No!
Butch: It's not your fault.

Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese.
Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.
Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.
Vincent: You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
Jules: What?
Vincent: Mayonnaise.
Jules: Goddamn.
Vincent: I've seen 'em do it, man. They fucking drown 'em in that shit.

Jules: Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Brett: No.
Jules: Tell him, Vincent.
Vincent: Royale with cheese.
Jules: Royale with cheese. Do you know why they call it a Royale with cheese?
Brett: Because of the metric system?
Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett. You one smart motherfucker.

Lance: You take off her shirt and find her heart.
Vincent: Does it gotta be exact?
Lance: We're giving her a shot in the heart, so it's gotta be exact.

Vincent: All right, what I need is a big, fat magic marker. You got it?
Jody: What?
Vincent: A magic marker. A felt pen! A fuckin' black magic marker! Christ.

Vincent: Hurry up, Lance! We're losing her!
Lance: I'm lookin' as fast as I can!
Jody: What's he looking for?
Vincent: I dunno. Some book.
Jody: What're you looking for?
Lance: A little black medical book!
Jody: What're you looking for?
Lance: A little black fuckin' medical book! It's like a textbook they give to nurses.
Jody: I never saw no medical book.
Lance: Trust me, I have one.
Jody: Well, if it's so important, why don't you keep it with the shot?
Lance: I don't know! Stop bothering me!
Jody: Listen, while you're looking for it, that girl's gonna die on our carpet! You're never gonna find anything in this mess!
Lance: I'm gonna fuckin' kill you if you don't shut up!
Vincent: Stop arguing and get in here!

Groundhog Day :: Quote 1

2007-08-03T16:34:00.000-07:00

First D.J.: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It's cooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing.
Second D.J.: That blizzard - thing. That blizzard - thing. Oh, well, here's the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a "big blizzard thing!"
First D.J.: Yes, they are. But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting.
Second D.J.: Especially cold!
First D.J.: Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody's lips...
Second D.J.: On their chapped lips...
First D.J.: On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow?
Second D.J.: Punxsutawney Phil!
First D.J.: Thats right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's
First D.J.: GROUNDHOG DAY!
Second D.J.: GROUNDHOG DAY!

Duplex :: Quote 1

2007-08-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

Alex Rose: I'm not gonna pay for unauthorized repairs.
Mr. Dzerzhinsky: I did the work, my friend. I can rip the pipes out of the wall.
Mr. Dzerzhinsky (Speaks Russian): Ja vedj naher eto vyrvatj mogu!
Alex Rose: What?
Mr. Dzerzhinsky: [repeats himself]
Alex Rose: I don't know. I don't know what you're saying.
Mr. Dzerzhinsky: Do it! Do it!
Alex Rose: You do it! You do it!
Nancy: Alex!
Alex Rose: What? Okay, forget it. Plug it up.
Mr. Dzerzhinsky (Speaks Russian): Zhmot i zasranec!

Friends Series / Season 1 Episode 1 :: Quotes

2007-08-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

Joey: Come on, you're single. Have some hormones.
Ross: See, but I don't want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!

Rachel: Daddy, I just...|I can't marry him.
Rachel: I'm sorry.
Rachel: I just don't love him.
Rachel: Well, it matters to me!

Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision.
Rachel: Well, maybe I don't need your money.
Rachel: Wait! Wait! I said maybe!

Ross: Joey and Chandler are|helping me with my furniture.
Chandler:Yes we're very excited about it.
Rachel: Thanks. But I'm just gonna hang out here. It's been a long day.
Ross: Okay. Sure.
Joey: Pheebs, wanna help?
Phoebe: I wish I could, but I don't want to.

Phoebe's Song:
Love is sweet as summer showers,
Love is a wondrous work of art,
But your love oh your love, your love...
Is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart.
La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy she says) Thank you.
La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Phoebe's Songs

Rachel: Isn't this amazing?
Rachel: I have never made coffee before in my life.
Chandler: That is amazing.
Joey: Congratulations.
Rachel: I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.
Chandler: I think it's, "If I can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do."

Chandler: I've got to get to work. If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference.

Friends :: Season 1 Episode 1 :: s1e1 s01e01 s1e01 s01e1

Sir Winston Churchill Quotes

2007-04-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.

All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.

I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.

It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

The price of greatness is responsibility.

The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."

We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire...Give us the tools and we will finish the job.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."

Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

So they [the Government] go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, 'Verify your quotations.'

I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.

Here is the answer which I will give to President Roosevelt... We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job.

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.

One day President Roosevelt told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once 'The Unnecessary War'.

The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.

For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.

From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the Continent.

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.

A love of tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward.

Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

The Simpsons Movie :: Quote 1

2007-04-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

Homer Simpson: Run! Run! Jump! Jump! Rest! Rest!

Die Hard 3 :: Quote 1

2007-04-23T05:30:00.000-07:00

Inspector Cobb: We'll be back to pick you up in fifteen minutes.
John McClane: Take your time. I expect to be dead in four.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan :: Quote 3

2007-04-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

Borat: It is custom to have cheese at the start.
Bob Barr: Thank you.
Borat: My wife, she make this cheese.
Bob Barr: Very nice.
Borat: She make it from a milk from her tit.

Bad Santa :: Quote 3

2007-01-28T02:50:00.000-08:00

Marcus: How much?
Gin: Half.
Willie: No fucking way...
Marcus: Just back off, Will, I got this. I got this! Okay, 30%. That's three of us. 30%, that's fair.
Gin: Half.
Marcus: I meant 33%.
Gin: I meant half.
Marcus: And 1/3.
Gin: Half.
Marcus: 35%.
Gin: Half.
Marcus: 40%.
Gin: Half.
Marcus: 42%?
Gin: Half.
Marcus: Um... 45%.
Gin: Half.
Marcus: 48%?
Gin: Half.
Marcus: 49%?
Gin: Half.
Willie: WeII , what's one point?
Gin: We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchendise you take, I get to look at and cherry pick.
Marcus: No. Money is one thing but you ain't getting the sh...
Gin: This ain't no Chinese menu, jagoff! I tell YOU how it's gonna be. This is pricks fix!
Willie: Pricks fix?
Marcus: Ah, he's a fucking moron.
Willie: Oh really? Is that how you got the upper hand?
Marcus: Fuck you.
Willie: Negotiating?
Marcus: You don't like it? Next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey.
Willie: Yeah and I can get another midget too.
Marcus: Yeah? Where? You see us hanging off of fucking trees like fucking crab apples?

Bring It On 3 / All or nothing :: Quote 1

2007-01-27T01:47:00.000-08:00

Britney: I am a virgin.
Brad: Shhh... I'm a quarterback, babe, people expect me to score.

Bad Santa :: Quote 2

2007-01-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

Mother: Look who's here, Jimmy. It's Santa.
Santa [Whispers]: That's fucking great.
Mother: Let's teII him what you want for Christmas.
Santa [Screams]: Fuck. I'm on my fucking Iunch break, okay?

Life or something like it :: Quote 1

2007-01-25T06:43:00.000-08:00

Jack (Prophet): Watch your step on your way out.
*Lanie trips in a crack and breaks the heel off her shoe
Lanie: Saw that in a vision, did you?
Jack (Prophet): No. I trip in that crack all the time.

The Italian Job :: Quote 1

2007-01-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

Steve: How about dinner?
Stella: You ask your last cable repair guy out to dinner?
Steve: No. But he had a handlebar mustache and weighed like 300 pounds.

Clerks II :: Quote 1

2007-01-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

Randal Graves: Open up and tell me shit. Like why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll who lives in her pussy.
Pillow Pants is her pussy troll. Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young to keep them from having premarital sex?

Randal Graves: Sure.
Elias: Well, Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so, even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So I got to wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
Randal Graves: And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff, Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have already, if it wasn't for Lister Fiend.
Randal Graves: Lister Fiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: Women.
Randal Graves: I'll be right back.

Randal Graves: You are never gonna believe what Elias just told me.

Undisputed :: Quote 1

2007-01-24T13:55:00.000-08:00

Monroe Hutchens: He's the champ.
James Kroycek aka Ratbag Dolan: What's this shit? Don't think negative, man. I don't want to hear that shit. This is your house. You own this place.
Monroe Hutchens: If this was my house, I could get up and leave.

Snakes On A Plane :: Quote 1

2006-12-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

Claire Miller (Stewardess): Unfortunately, first class is overbooked. But there's plenty of room for you to stretch out in coach, which is less than half full. For the inconvenience, we are offering you a free travel coupon good on any South Pacific Air flight.
Paul Oswald: A free travel coupon won't help me get to my meeting on time, now will it?
Claire Miller (Stewardess): Sir, I'm pretty sure that coach gets to Los Angeles about the same time as first.

Man of the year :: Quote 1

2006-12-15T14:29:00.000-08:00

Tom Dobbs: Nasa spent 30 Million dollars creating the pen that would write upside down in space. Did you know that? The Russians, how ever, were able to solve this problem with... Five cent pencil! Writes right side up writes up-side down, after five quarts of vodka, is still writing!

Rocky IV :: Quote 1

2006-12-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

Rocky: I see three of him out there.
Paulie: Hit the one in the middle.
Duke: Right! Hit the one in the middle.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan :: Quote 2

2006-11-29T04:07:00.000-08:00

To show our friendship, I now will sing our kazak national anthem to the tune of your national anthem. Listen.

Kazakstan is the greatest country in the world,
All other countries are run by little girls,
Kazakstan is number one exporter of potasium,
Other central asian countries have in theory our potasium
Kazakstan is the greatest country in the world,
All other countries is the home of the gays.

Eurotrip :: Quote 1

2006-11-27T13:02:00.000-08:00

Scott: I'm in love with Mike.
Cooper Harris: OK... OK. You know what? I was actually expecting this. Frankly, I'm flattered
you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause... I think they already know.
Scott: No, you idiot. Mike is a girl.
Cooper Harris: No, no, I get it. Yeah. No, no, I get it. Yeah. He's the girl, and you're the girl, and sometimes you're both the girl. Right? Right? That's hot.

Just My Luck :: Quote 1

2006-11-26T14:02:00.000-08:00

Damon Phillips: Do you know how much Downtown Masquerade Records made last year?
Ashley: Yes. 507 million, gross.
Damon Phillips: Therefore, you know how much each and every minute of my time is worth.
Phillip's Minion: $964.
Damon Phillips: Damn, that's a lot of money. I didn't expect that.
Phillip's Minion: Yeah, and that includes the time that you're sleeping.
Damon Phillips: So even when I go poo-poo, I'm makin' money!

Pink Panther :: Quote 1

2006-11-26T11:36:00.000-08:00

Nigel Boswell: Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Of course! It means you are one away from the big time.

Bring It On :: Quote 1

2006-11-26T04:36:00.000-08:00

Whitney: Where's this girl from, Romania?
Courtney: Can she yell?
Torrance: We'll tryan oldie.
Awesome, oh, wow! Like, totally freak me out! I mean, right on!
The Toros sure are number one.
Missy: I transferred from Los Angeles! Your school has no gymnastics team! This is a last resort!

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan :: Quote 1

2006-11-23T03:57:00.000-08:00

Borat: Sometime, my sister, she show her vagin to my brother and say: You will never get this! You will never get this! La-la-la! He, behind his cage, crazy -crazy, everybody laughing. You never get this. But, one time, he break the cage, and he get this. And then we all laugh. High five!

The Girl Next Door, Movie Quotes

2006-11-12T01:40:00.000-08:00

Danielle: So, you're about to graduate. You must be going nuts right now.
Matthew: Yeah. I mean, uh... it's just been, uh... been off the hook, you know.
Danielle: Really?
Matthew: Yeah.
Danielle: So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately?
Matthew: Oh, I mean, it's... it's hard to tell, you know... because we've... I've just done so much nuts stuff. I mean, it's just off the hook, off the walls. I mean...
Danielle: You haven't done anything, have you?
Matthew: No.

Eli: Dude, don't mess this up.
Matthew: Mess what up?
Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.
Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her. Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.
Matthew: Eli, I'm never going to see her again.
Eli: Oh, you know what? Fine!
Matthew: Fine!
Eli: Fine!
Eli: Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please, Matt! Fuck her for me! For me!

Danielle: Hi, I'm all wet. Can I come in?

Matthew: Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... The three legs of the tripod. My business partner. My student advisor. The next Einstein. Eli's calling card. Klitz's big debut. My own scholarship to Georgetown. And of course, I'll never forget the girl next door. As for me, I'm just going with it.

Matthew: Oh my god, she's so hot.
Eli: What channel, dude?

Bad Santa :: Quote 1

2006-11-12T01:24:00.000-08:00

Kid: Look what I have. An Advent calendar.
Willie: What the heII is that?
Kid: It's the story of Christmas, but in a calendar. Every day you peel open a new box. You get part of the story. And then there's a chocolate inside. Do you want to open up today's box and read it?
Willie: No. You go ahead. Jesus Christ, kid. Watch the nuts.
Kid: ''So Joseph went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem, the town of David. In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. Everyone went to his hometown to register.''
Willie: That it?
Kid: Yep.
Willie: That's an awesome fucking story, kid.

Net 2.0 :: Quote 1

2006-11-11T06:21:00.000-08:00

Osman: I see you have come alone. You will be joined by, how you say, boyfriend?
Hope Cassidy: How you say, horse's ass?

Police Academy :: Quote 1

2006-11-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: From now on, you are "D" Squad; "D" for "dirtbags." When I say: "Hey, dirtbags." that means you.

Cruel Intentions :: Quote 2

2006-11-03T10:03:00.000-08:00

Greg McConnell: And I stand there like, "What the hell is this? Grandma with the birthday present? Suck it, dumb bitch!"

Saw :: Quote 1

2006-11-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

Dr. Lawrence Gordon: What's your name?
Adam: My name is Very Fucking Confused; what's your name?

Meet The Parents :: Quote 2

2006-11-01T13:13:00.000-08:00

Greg Focker: And what's your most expensive bottle of champagne ?
Shop assistant: Mumm's. It's on sale for 13.95.
Greg Focker: Really? That's it ? You don't have, like, a nice, like, 80 or $100 bottle of something?
Shop assistant: You can get a whole bunch of Mumm's.

Cruel Intentions :: Quote 1

2006-10-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

Sebastian: You could be a model.
Cecile Caldwell: Really?
Sebastian: It's too bad you're not sexy.

Naked Gun 2 1/2 :: Quote 1

2006-10-30T15:09:00.000-08:00

Police OfficeR: That's a pretty nice clock!
Wonder why they threw it out?

Click :: Quote 1

2006-10-30T05:10:00.000-08:00

Kevin O'Doyle: What kind of stereo do you have?
Michael Newman: I don't know, Kevin, I never checked.
Kevin O'Doyle: Well my dad's stereo is a Bose.
Michael Newman: What? Your Dad's stereo blows? Well that's too bad!

White Men Can't Jump :: Quote 1

2006-10-30T04:56:00.000-08:00

Referee: Black ball.
Players: What the fuck do you mean, black ball?
Players: Are you racist?
Referee: Your jersey, not your skin.
Players: I knew you were a racist.

Naked Gun 33 1/3 :: Quote 1

2006-10-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

Doctor's Assistant: - Can I help you?
Frank Drebin: - Yes, I'd like to see a doctor.
Doctor's Assistant: - Sign in here, please. Do you have an appointment, Mr...?
Frank Drebin: - Smith. No, I don't.
Doctor's Assistant: - Then take a number.
Frank Drebin: - Six.
Doctor's Assistant: - What?
Frank Drebin: - Is six taken? Does it have to be between one and ten?
Doctor's Assistant: - You'll be called.

Down Periscope :: Quote 2

2006-09-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

Lt. Lake: I've done over 300 on a simulator, sir. 75 of them were strong-current dives.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: And I'm sure you scored high, but...
Lt. Lake: Higher than you, sir.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Oh. How would you know that?
Lt. Lake: I looked up your scores. I have a printout.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: I have no doubt.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Still, a simulator is not a boat. Nobody talks about brave men in their proud simulators.

The Fast & The Furious :: Quote 2

2006-09-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

Dom: Ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning's winning.

Down Periscope :: Quote 1

2006-09-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

Dodge: Oh gee. Now I've gone and done it, ruined my career.
Captain Carl Knox: [Reading a radio message] Apparently not. This is just in from COMSUBLANT. You're to report to Norfolk immediately... to take command of your own submarine.
Dodge: That's not funny.
Captain Carl Knox: No, it's not. That's why they decoded it twice.

Senseless :: Quote 1

2006-09-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

Darryl: Would you all just cut this shit?!
Darryl: You, you better fix that damn watch. And you rich girl, we know you have money. Put that damn diamond away. And you British guy, if you are going to live in this country you better go see a damn dentist about that stink-ass breath. You smell like hot garbage.

Meet The Parents :: Quote 1

2006-09-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?

Coyote Ugly :: Quote 1

2006-09-25T12:04:00.000-07:00

Gloria: We should have dinner sometime!
Bill Sanford: I'm locking my doors.

The Fast & The Furious :: Quote 1

2006-09-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

Brian: I just need some more time.
FBI Officer: If you want time, buy the magazine! We don't have time!

Links

2006-08-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

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